In this NLP technique you mentally review (or preview) a situation from a number of different standpoints in order to enrich your appreciation of what is involved. It is one of the first techniques taught and explored in our NLP Core Skills programme in the New Forest.
Use it to review an interaction with another person – or to prepare for a forthcoming one.
Do two rounds. The first round provides insights into the current situation. The second round enables you to benefit from the insights gained in the first round – while mentally ‘wiring in’ the learnings.
See the situation through your own eyes. Run through the meeting or interaction as if you are there in it. Pay attention to your own thoughts and feelings. Consider your own needs.
Imagine what it is like to be the other person. Put yourself in their shoes – as if you are looking back at yourself, seeing, hearing, and feeling as the other person. How is ‘that you over there’ coming across to you. Are they in rapport with you? Are they respecting you? Is he/she taking your views into account?
Take a detached viewpoint. Imagine you are looking at yourself and the other person ‘over there’ – seeing the two of them speaking, gesturing etc. Pay particular attention to non-verbal behaviour such as the body language and the sound of their voices. Then consider, as a result of taking this view, what advice you wish to give ‘yourself’ about how you are handling the situation.
Now repeat the process using the insights and advice from the Round 1. Run through it with the new behaviours – first as yourself, then as the other person, and finally the detached view.
Finally, think of up-coming events in which these insights may be useful. Mentally run through these while imagining that you are incorporating your new learnings.
Do this for just one interaction a day for the next month or two and notice how your ability to effectively communicate with others improves.
By Reg Connolly, Director of Training, Pegasus NLP