NLP for people who like to think for themselves

NLP and Rapport: the risky NLP body language method!

How not to create rapport: mirroring One traditional, and risky, way of using NLP to create rapport is by matching a person’s body language. In NLP we call this process matching or ‘mirroring’ So if I use mirroring to get into rapport with you I could match your behaviour in one or more ways. I…

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Which is your ‘favourite’ stress mode?

Virginia Satir's 4 Stress Modes

  The ‘Satir Stress Modes’ Virginia Satir identified that we move into one or more of 4 modes of behaviour and reaction when under pressure – we blame others, or placate them, or distract their attention, or become cool/cold and super-reasonable. The Blamer: in Blamer mode we find fault with anyone and everyone – except…

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Attitude, work and TGIF

Let's just get through the week!

We can choose our attitude… Fed up with your job? In a dead end with no immediate way out? We can’t all have Instagram Lives, all of the time! But we can always be in charge of how we deal with the life we have. We can always be in charge ofour attitude towards what’s…

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Conversation Hijackers

the conversational hijacker

Spot the conversation hijack! It’s become a morning sporting event; spot the hijack! One of our local radio stations has a presenter who is a master of the conversation hijack. He can turn any topic around to himself in seconds: conversation with the weather or traffic or business support team, interview with a guest, or…

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What to do when you’re put on the spot!

Those Rabbit in the Headlights moments - when you're put on the spot

Those ‘Rabbit in the headlights’ moments What to do when you’re ‘put on the spot’ The ‘Rabbit in the Headlights’ moments Most of us have been there from time to time.  Some of us find ourselves there all-too-frequently. You’re put on the spot – you’re suddenly challenged. Or accused. Or questioned. Or required to explain…

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How to free yourself from an old habit

Freedom from Bad Habits - action steps

How to free yourself from a ‘bad habit’ A bad habit is just a means to an end. It’s a way of having certain feelings. Or avoiding other feelings. Or both. It’s a way of managing your mood – and we looked at this in Part 1 of this article. The dilemma Let’s say you…

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Bad Habits Do a Good Job

Bad habits go a good job!

Bad habits usually do a good job! Many of us spend a lot of time trying to get rid of bad habits. It works like this. You decide a long-held habit is ‘bad’ and no longer acceptable – a habit such as smoking, putting things off, eating/snacking, retail therapy, or talking too much. Then the…

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No Rapport? No Relationship!

No Rapport? No Relationship!

Thanks for that introduction! I can’t remember, right now, who introduced me to the NLP expert, but one day we’ll meet again… 🙂 The expert was very into the ‘personal power school of NLP’. My knuckles ached for a little while once I managed to extricate my hand from the handshake. I noticed, while doing…

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6 ways to practice (or practise) your NLP skills

I practise - I become skilled

In developing your NLP skill the old saying ‘I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand’ applies. Actually, when it comes to skill, as opposed to mere knowledge about NLP, this piece of wisdom from Confucius is incomplete. We need to add “… I practice and I become skilled”. Because it’s not enough to just do it once and decide you understand – you have to keep doing it until it becomes an automatic (or unconscious) part of your behaviour.

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Worrying: Mental Rehearsal for Failure

Worry = Mental Rehearsal for failure

Worry: Mental Rehearsal for failure Worrying is normal. We all to do it, at times. We worry about how we’ll handle an important event, such as a job interview, presentation or appraisal. Or exam. Sports or arts performance. And the more important this event, the more worried we become… We imagine we’ll forget things, or…

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