Hold on to that negative mood…

… at least for a few moments more. Negative moods are useful. They are, quite rightly, a target for most positive living approaches, including NLP. After all, remaining in an angry, depressed, or panicky mood isn’t much fun and there are lots of better ways of feeling.

If you’re in a negative mood, and you have a few NLP skills, the temptation is to focus only on getting rid of the mood. Which contravenes a core principle of NLP – the pacing and leading concept which boils down to ‘first get in rapport with where the person is right now – and only then attempt to influence them’.

This principle can apply to self, too. Rather than furiously trying to ‘not’ feel the negative mood how about first getting into rapport with yourself, before you attempt to change the mood?

But why stay in the mood for a second longer than you need to? The label ‘negative mood’ indicates we don’t like the particular state – anxious, tetchy, gloomy or whatever –  so you’d think the best thing is to furiously get rid of it and replace it with a more pleasant state…

This is fine as long as you first do something quite important: discover what produced the negative state in the first place and assess if you need to do something about that. Because if we miss this step the mood will recur, again and again and, we’ll be forever fighting ourselves!

Once again, if we’re not prepared to learn from (our) history we’re destined to repeat it or, as we say in NLP:

if you always do what you’ve always done you always get what you’ve always got!

This is central to the NLP approach and is underscored by the core NLP Principles

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