3 steps for dealing with ‘emotional log-jams’
It’s a common and quite uncomfortable experience: life suddenly seems too complex, there’s too much to deal with, too many insurmountable problems – and you just want to hide away from it all. Everything has bunched up to create an emotional log-jam! 
So we go into freeze mode or circular thinking mode. Instead of systematically working through things we either try to avoid everything – or we think and think and think, and go round and round in circles.
Yes, it’s often the result of a build-up of stress or of a lot of change occurring in your life – that explains it but it doesn’t resolve it.
The solution to emotional log-jam
The solution is simple and it’s aimed at eradicating the log-jam’s disempowering effect. You follow three stages:
- Get things out of your head and on paper
- Deal with the things one at a time
- Focus on today – and deal with tomorrow when it arrives.
Now, although the approach is simple it does have a ‘catch’. For it to work you have to actually take action rather than merely plan to take action. And this is the bity that many find off-putting at times like this – having to take action.
Because taking action runs that risk that the action steps might not work. It’s much less threatening to spend your time planning ever more wonderful, risk-free solutions – which will never be implemented.
Live in Day-tight Compartments
Central to the solution is breaking things down into separate and manageable chunks – and developing the ability to take things one day at a time – to live in day-tight compartments.
This is the subject of this week’s Pegasus NLP Newsletter – and the newsletter is online here
Reg . I am grateful to you for reframing my life last week. You mentioned about pre grieving during the core skills course. Do you have anything on this ? Both my parents are in their late 80,s snd I am dreading their passing. ( especially my dads) . With my new state of mind I believe I can learn to go properly through a grieving process when I need to. Would be grateul for your help on this one. Yours in fellowship Darren Lane
Hi Darren:
It’s a slightly complex subject for a blog or newsletter (though I’ll have a go at condensing it and putting it online).
However, as you have attended Core Skills, you’ll already have the essentials of the process. It’s an application of the Payoff Process – in the ‘cloud’ on the diagram you enter all of the qualities (e.g. beliefs, values, identity) that are fulfilled by having your parents around. Then you systematically set about seeking other ways of fulfilling these.
I’m reading a fascinating book at the moment called “Celebrate 100” which details traits and attitudes of 500 people aged 100 (centenarians) and super-centenarians (110 and above) who are living active and fulfilling lives. It challenges the common belief that age equates with decrepitude….
🙂
Reg
PS: the other link we discussed http://www.pe2000.com/breathing/buteyko