Looking for fans

People who run the ‘Tell me I’m wonderful’ pattern or programme are looking for fans rather than friends. They regale you with tales of their exploits and successes and deals. The hint at their charm and charisma And they are very insistent that you listen to and appreciate every little detail – and that you demonstrate how much you admire them!

You are their audience and they require that you demonstrate your appreciation of their wonderfulness.

Like emotional suction pumps their personal insecurity is so great that they constantly need to be admired, praised, and be the centre of attention.

For these people it’s all about reassurance – and there’s never going to be enough of this. What’s more they rarely give praise or complements or, if they do, this will be grudging and less-than-sincere.

Maintaining a long-term relationship requires a pretty robust sense of self esteem – and endurance. And trying to change them or convince them they need to do something about their pattern is unlikely to succeed since to accept help or guidance would mean accepting they’re not perceived as being as wonderful as they wish to appear…