Driving your own bus? Or back-seat passenger?
Bad times or learning opportunities?
What’s your favourite screw-up, setback, mistake, weak spot, etc.
What’s pretty well guaranteed to have you in an unpleasant mood? For example:
- Do you forget things? And then give yourself a hard time about it.
- Do you get irritable? And then blame yourself or others for causing the mood change?
- Do you fret unnecessarily about things – which later turn out okay?
- Do you blame others for not behaving as you’d like them to – and then use guilt to try and mould their behaviour?
- Do you feel sorry for yourself because the world isn’t as it should be – but do nothing to make things right for yourself?
What’s common to these?
The common factor in all of these questions is the implication that unpleasant moods don’t happen to us – instead we cooperate in making them happen in us.
And, therefore, the implication is that we cause our own moods by how we react; by how we think, respond and/or interpret what’s happening in and around us.
“I don’t want to hear this!”
This is a message which many people do not want to hear. It’s a lot easier to blame others for when we feel bad.
Then we don’t have to take responsibility for the bad mood: we can just blame them. And intimidate them through anger or guilt into getting their act together and behaving as we think they should!
But, if we look at things calmly and rationally, no-one is able to get in there and actually change how our brain cells and body chemicals function to produce the mood. It’s our own thinking which does that! We create our own negative moods.
Walking the NLP Talk next year
Recognising this and acting upon it is central to real NLP. That’s why it amazes me whenever I come across NLP fans – and even NLP Practitioners – blaming others for their own moods.
So, as a thought to ponder, as it is the end of one year and the beginning of another, could the coming year be
the year for driving our own emotional bus?
the year in which to begin looking at how we create our own unpleasant moods?
the year for giving others the freedom to behave as they wish – even if we don’t approve?
Ralph Waldo Emerson (an NLPer long before NLP was invented) suggested “Bad times have a scientific value. These are occasions a good learner would not miss.”
So think about it…
What if every ‘down’ mood were to be treated as an opportunity to learn more about how we create our bad moods – and, therefore, how we can create them less often?
We could even begin to welcome ‘down’ moods as learning opportunities.
Want to take this further?
(Click here https://www.nlp-now.co.uk/nlp_what_you_want.htm for more articles dealing Driving Your Own Bus.)
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