NLP in Daily Life

Carry it with you…or Leave it by the River The missing barcode I was third in the supermarket queue when the cashier came across an item which wouldn’t scan. It didn’t have a barcode. On her busy shift, the cashier could have called for a supervisor – and given herself an opportunity for a break

Positive thinking… or maybe lazy thinking? Have you noticed that much of what’s promoted as ‘positive thinking’ is really lazy thinking or even, let’s face it, daft thinking? It’s something that’s bothered me ever since I got caught up in my own fuzzy buzzy phase a few decades ago. Yes, I fell for that Group Think:

Habits can be useful and efficient… traps I like a cup of instant coffee first thing in the morning. It’s been a habit – every morning, without fail – and for as long as I remember. And I always add a spoon of CoffeeMate, a coffee whitener, to my coffee. Always. Now, ‘first thing in

Repetition makes a lie believable. The 3rd Monday in January is the most depressing day of the year… according to many British newspapers. This ‘scientific claim’ is the invention of a PR company and a part-time lecturer. It was created back in 2004 to get people to book their annual summer holidays earlier and is,

The Incessant Talker – who goes on and on… As a young adult I had some difficulty with ‘the people side of things’. Yes, I did like being with people but, except with a small group of friends, I found socialising uncomfortable. Looking back, I can see that this was due to a lack of

“It was right here…!” It can be a terrifying moment. You return to where you’d parked your car. And it’s gone. ‘Where did I leave it? It was right here…! Now its gone…’ And you search and search. All over the car park. Faster and faster as panic builds. ‘It’s been stolen!’ Panic. So you

Improve relationships – through understanding them. It was during a coffee break on one of our courses. This was an advanced course so the group had quite a bit of NLP under their belts – and we were chatting about what we each considered the most useful bit of NLP for improving relationships. Yes, we

Take a break from the bad news… It was brought home to me on a Sunday evening in Dublin Airport, while waiting for my return flight to the UK. I’d not been keeping up with the news because I had just spent a few days running an NLP workshop in Dublin. And my spare time had

‘The markets have lost confidence’. How the NLP Meta Model interprets the News Media. Yesterday the UK financial market briefly lost confidence in HBOS, Britain’s biggest mortgage lender. And HBOS shares dropped by 17% at one stage. (This was written in March 2008 when the financial crisis was gathering momentum.) It’s been a tough time

Voice: one of the NLP ‘subtle skills’. One theme, which comes up again and again during our course is the importance of the ‘subtle skills’. These are the skills which make the NLP Techniques work well and pretty consistently – rather than in a hit and miss manner. There are many subtle skills and they

The ‘people helpers’ who talk too much! One phenomenon that’s always fascinated me is the tendency for “people helpers” to talk too much… People helpers? They seem to think that if they’re not talking, and telling people what to do, they are not earning their living! That’s a pity. People helping is not about handing

When a voice sound is a turn off. It was a BBC Radio 4 programme, announced as a comedy show – and within 60 seconds I had to switch it off. Had to switch off? Yes, the quick-fire, raspy, edgy voice of the presenter grated on my nerves. It was physically uncomfortable. He has a

Get it out of your head – and on to paper! Sometimes life can be confusing. Or overwhelming. Like when you have too much happening – lots of changes to cope with – lots of decisions to make. Or you’ve got a vague, uneasy, or unpleasant feeling that you can’t get to the bottom of.

‘Try’ undermines your impact and influence. I was doing some research for an article on stress and depression yesterday. So, I web-searched on a few terms. And I couldn’t believe how sloppy is the language used by so many people who should know better; doctors, psychiatrists, therapists, counsellors and, apparently well-respected PhD’s, using phrases along

Before you climb it, ensure your ladder is against the right wall? For years I’ve quoted Stephen Covey’s great metaphor: “If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.” I actually paraphrased Covey: There’s little point in energetically and enthusiastically climbing that

We just looked at one another. I was walking along the local high street.  And I was approaching and about to pass a woman walking with her daughter of about 6 or 7… Daughter: Mum, what age is Carol? Mum: She’s nearly 18, dear (…longish pause…) Daughter: Emmm, Mum? Mum: Yes, dear. Daughter: Will you

(This article was originally posted on 13 June 2019 just over 9 months before our first pandemic lockdown here in the UK. I’m reposting it here because, in the light of the past two years, the ideas about social distancing seem so dated. Almost quaint, in fact. Oh, and I’m also reposting it because the

A challenging question? On some of our courses, we used to introduce our Design Your Future exercise. It was a way of creating a practical action plan to create your ideal future over the next few years. When introducing the exercise I ask people to consider “where do you want to be with your life

A 600-yr old tip! Have you ever noticed the great resolutions that we make when we’re unwell… You know, the promises such as: Once I’m feeling better again I’ll exercise more, eat better, have a better work-life balance, etc. Well twas ever thus. Sometime in the 1400s, Sigismund, the Holy Roman Emperor, was asked what

NLP Anchors worked – even before NLP! Back in the late 1700’s the Scottish novelist-to-be, Walter Scott, was a student at Edinburgh High School. And he was always runner-up to the more articulate and quick-witted boy who invariably came top of the class. One day, as his rival was speaking in class, Scott noticed that

“How long will it take me make this a habit?” Well, the usual answer is 21 days and this is one of those myths-which-became-truth because it is so widely and unquestioningly quoted (including by myself in the distant past). It’s based on a 1960’s observation by Maxwell Maltz, the positive thinking author and cosmetic surgeon.

Walking – less fashionable than running, BUT… In recent years enlightened GPs around the UK have been setting up walking groups for patients in their practices – with good results in reducing requests for prescriptions and in building self esteem and social connections. Walking doesn’t get the same kind of press attention as jogging or

The amazing Nocebo Effect The Nocebo is what happens when we receive scary news which results in physical symptoms.  The Nocebo is the opposite of the Placebo. With the Placebo, which means ‘I will heal’, we get well because we believe something is good for us – the kindly doctor or therapist who listens and

Time for a break from The (Bad) News! Social-Distancing? Yep, got it! So, now how about ‘News-Distancing?” As I sat down to have my lunch one day last week, there was a ‘coming up’ announcement for the BBC Radio 4 World at One news programme which proudly announced “Covid Virus – the latest on who’s

Wishing them well?? Shortly after the arrival of Covid-19 in the UK we began wishing each other well with “Stay Safe!” comments. It was a well-intended comment.  Yet, in communication, and as we know from NLP, it’s not our intention when communicating that matters.  What matters are the results of our communicating – our impact on