Why do people sometimes seem to be their own worst enemies? They eat too much, drink too much, work too hard etc. despite advice and evidence that it is not good for them. Despite the trouble it causes. Despite the side effects. Despite, in some cases, even the threat of losing their liberty. This is […]
Advice giving: Why won’t they take the advice – and change! Read More »
Daily NLP Tips The new daily NLP Tips series on Twitter is for people who have had some experience of NLP. This is because anything other than a reminder of an NLP concept or process would be impossible to squeeze into 140 characters – it’s a tough enough challenge as it is 🙂 I’m planning
NLP, Bodywork and group hugs In the early 80’s as I was exploring NLP I also became interested in bodywork as another route to personal development. As the name suggests bodywork is about physical ways of enabling oneself and others to get to know ourselves better and to feel better. My experimenting took me into
It's time for a group hug! Read More »
Self Talk has its uses … A lot of us who do our thinking primarily through self talk or, as we term it in NLP, through Auditory Digital thinking, try to keep track of everything going on in our lives “in our heads”. And if you have a very busy life and have lots of
Replace (some) mental chatter with The Daily Plan Read More »
Driving your own bus? Or back-seat passenger? Bad times or learning opportunities? What’s your favourite screw-up, setback, mistake, weak spot, etc. What’s pretty well guaranteed to have you in an unpleasant mood? For example: What’s common to these? The common factor in all of these questions is the implication that unpleasant moods don’t happen to
Driving your own bus Read More »
Rapport: the first essential in communicating One of the first “challenges” in becoming an effective communicator is knowing how to create the right atmosphere for effective communicating to occur. Take for example a simple “information gathering” exercise on one of our workshops in which the object is for, say, Jill to discover something about how
First you need rapport! Read More »
How we programme our own moods How we interpret events and then have feelings as a result of our own interpretation is the main topic in today’s Pegasus NLP Newsletter. The article takes a look at how we attach meaning to what is happening around us and how the meaning which we attach then determines
Attaching Meaning: NLP Meta Model Read More »
It’s bank holiday weekend! The Dorset Coast, when I live, is a popular visitor destination and I’ve long ago learned from the locals that it’s best to avoid travelling locally on bank holiday weekends. But yesterday I took a chance. And got caught in a traffic jam. It wasn’t a long one – just about
A quart into a pint pot Read More »
Do you give yourself a hard time…? What you do when you slip up? When you make a mistake, forget something, screw up, open your mouth and (metaphorically) put your foot in it, do something embarrassing, etc. Well, if you’re like most of us you probably do give yourself a hard time about it. You
Beating yourself up about things Read More »
For many people there is a certain satisfaction in giving others good advice on how to solve their problems or live their lives. And these people find it quite frustrating when, after carefully designing and delivering the advice, the recipient doesn’t follow it: they either ignore it completely or follow for a while and then
Advice giving: Why don’t they follow my advice? Read More »
NLP and traditional health enhancement Before I began to specialise in NLP training I ran stress management workshops for a number of years beginning back in 1983. Often I would be running two to five 2-hour workshops in any week in the Bournemouth-Poole area in Dorset (UK). And I also had a private psychotherapy and
Boring old "relaxation"… and our health Read More »
The Get it Right attitude (2) In Part 1 we looked at the way the Get it Right attitude works and I suggested having a think about how it works in your own life and what it’s cost you to date. If you’ve done this you’ll be aware of the lost opportunities resulting from it;
The Get it Right Attitude (2 of 2) Read More »
The Get it Right Attitude You’ve probably encountered the ‘get it right attitude’. It’s the one that is backed up by clichés such as ‘if a job’s worth doing it’s worth doing properly’! It’s the attitude that prevents so many of us doing so many things. It goes along the lines: there’s no point in
The Get It Right Attitude (Part 1 of 2) Read More »
NLP techniques don’t work for me! Not long ago I got an email: ‘I have been reading … (naming a well-known NLP-based self improvement book) and listening to the accompanying CD which a friend of mine has used quite successfully and recommended to me. I am struggling with it because much of it seems to
Is NLP only for ‘good visualisers’? Read More »
We’d like you to train our team The regional manager for the multinational had taken part, as a private individual, in our NLP Core Skills course a few months earlier and (of course 🙂 ) was very impressed with it. So much so that he was now approaching us to quote for a training programme.
Should we teach NLP skills to everyone? Read More »
An Ouch Moment! It could have been one of those squirmingly embarrassing evenings. It was a few years ago and, along with the two other trainers, I was at the after-training dinner with delegates on the management development training we were presenting for a large multi-national. The dinner was an opportunity for the delegates to
The ones with the bright eyes Read More »
People who are ‘going to’ have a great future The next Pegasus NLP Newsletter will be out shortly. It will be about people who have their ‘future on wheels’. The ones (unlike you or I!) who talk a great talk about the wonderful future they are going to have. But who never seem to get
The ‘future on wheels’ pattern Read More »
Managing and Leading in tougher times Managing and team leading in 2010 and beyond is more demanding than ever before with the challenge of raising and maintain morale and motivation in a smaller workforce in which people: Soft skills… or Subtle Skills? To counteract these trends managers needs to be highly skilled in what used
NLP, Managing & Leading, and the Soft Skills Read More »
‘I’ll try…’ It’s only a tiny word. Just 3 letters: T R Y Yet how a person uses the word ‘Try’ provides important clues to their beliefs and attitude. It’s a very common and quite sneaky little word that’s often used without much thought – almost as a figure of speech, in fact. But what
What’s beneath the word ‘Try’ Read More »
There’s listening… and there’s really listening. Normally when we’re listening to somebody we tend to pay attention to what they are actually saying. We listen to the words, the sentences, the descriptions, the story line, etc. As a result we may have feelings about them and what they are saying. Yet we are really just
What’s beneath the words (1) ‘Hopefully’ Read More »
The cost of managers who don’t motivate No doubt Jack believes he is doing a good job in how he handled Mohan. In his view that’s the way to efficiently breeze through an appraisal: tick all the right boxes to keep HR happy and make sure your people know who’s in charge. (By the way,
A very public appraisal (Part 2) Read More »
Curiosity: being other-conscious rather than self-conscious Here is a previous article on curiosity When we are curious we are not self-absorbed. Our attention, instead of being on ourselves and how we feel and what people think of us, is on the world outside us – on other people and on what is happening around us.
NLP and Curiosity (2): Re-learn to be curious Read More »
How not to do an appraisal Sitting in Caffe Nero a few days ago I had the uncomfortable experience of watching and hearing a loud and brash young manager (unintentionally, I think) humiliating a soft-spoken direct report. As appraisals go it was a pretty thorough example of how not to do it. Rapport – what
A very public appraisal (Part 1) Read More »
No… you’re wrong! Sometimes the temptation is almost irresistible… to tell the other person just how wrong they are, that is. I experienced it this morning and, this time at least, I did resist the temptation and decided to write this blog instead. Pass on the word It seemed like a good idea (it still
The joy of telling them they’re wrong! Read More »
Curiosity… There is a second article on curiosity here He was walking along beside me, looking around him – and being uncharacteristically quiet. Then, as four or five-year olds do, he stopped and made a few attempts to say it but in the emotion of the moment the words sort of log-jammed a bit before
NLP and Curiosity (1) Read More »
“I’m feeling overwhelmed” No less than three people (friends, relatives, colleagues) – in one day (today, that is) have said to me that they felt ‘stressed’ and they each described their experience in different ways (1) overwhelmed by everything (2) buckling under the pressure and (3) really stressed out. Wanting to help Most of us,
NLP and (real) 'people-helping' Read More »
Stay on track Toward the end of every Pegasus NLP course the question arises of how to keep the momentum – the buzz of enthusiasm – going afterwards, when you’re back in the world of everyday home life and work life. It’s easy to stay focussed and enthusiastic while at the course. You’re in a
Maintaining your NLP momentum Read More »
Time for change Back in the mid 70’s I got fed up earning quite good money but with little job satisfaction. I was in charge of the new computer department for a large firm in the City of London. This was before I encountered NLP so I didn’t know about living life according to one’s
NLP & Rapport (5): You’ve got to invest – even in relationships Read More »
