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NLP for people who like to think for themselves

Put yourself, and others, at ease – with your eyes

Soft Eyes: how to use your eyes to relax yourself - and others

Those really awkward conversations… Have you ever been in one of those awkward situations where – you feel tense, – the other person is tense and, as the stilted conversation continues, – things become more and more tense and uncomfortable for both of you? This ‘conversational tension’ was the bane of my life in my early days as…

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Petty People in the workplace

Petty People at work Petty People like to divide and conquer – to play the ‘enemies and allies’ game. In their eyes, you’re either with them or against them.  Side with them and life is fine. Disagree with them and they’ll aim to make life miserable for you.  With Petty People you’re either with them…

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How to have a ‘negative attitude’

How to have a negative attitude

How we create our moods Here in England it’s almost a national pastime, complaining about the weather, that is. Shakespeare said that nothing was good or bad – thinking made it so! And 800 years ago Wumen Huikai’s had a view about our attitude towards the weather… In spring, hundreds of flowers In autumn, a…

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NLP and Rapport: the risky NLP body language method!

Rapport: an old, risky NLP method

How not to create rapport: mirroring One traditional, and risky, way of using NLP to create rapport is by matching a person’s body language. In NLP we call this process matching or ‘mirroring’ So if I use mirroring to get into rapport with you I could match your behaviour in one or more ways. I…

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Which is your ‘favourite’ stress mode?

Virginia Satir's 4 Stress Modes

  The ‘Satir Stress Modes’ Virginia Satir identified that we move into one or more of 4 modes of behaviour and reaction when under pressure – we blame others, or placate them, or distract their attention, or become cool/cold and super-reasonable. The Blamer: in Blamer mode we find fault with anyone and everyone – except…

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Attitude, work and TGIF

Let's just get through the week!

We can choose our attitude… Fed up with your job? In a dead end with no immediate way out? We can’t all have Instagram Lives, all of the time! But we can always be in charge of how we deal with the life we have. We can always be in charge ofour attitude towards what’s…

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Conversation Hijackers

the conversational hijacker

Spot the conversation hijack! It’s become a morning sporting event; spot the hijack! One of our local radio stations has a presenter who is a master of the conversation hijack. He can turn any topic around to himself in seconds: conversation with the weather or traffic or business support team, interview with a guest, or…

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What to do when you’re put on the spot!

Those Rabbit in the Headlights moments - when you're put on the spot

Those ‘Rabbit in the headlights’ moments What to do when you’re ‘put on the spot’ The ‘Rabbit in the Headlights’ moments Most of us have been there from time to time.  Some of us find ourselves there all-too-frequently. You’re put on the spot – you’re suddenly challenged. Or accused. Or questioned. Or required to explain…

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How to free yourself from an old habit

Freedom from Bad Habits - action steps

How to free yourself from a ‘bad habit’ A bad habit is just a means to an end. It’s a way of having certain feelings. Or avoiding other feelings. Or both. It’s a way of managing your mood – and we looked at this in Part 1 of this article “Bad Habits do a good…

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Bad Habits Do a Good Job

Bad habits go a good job!

Bad habits usually do a good job! Many of us spend a lot of time trying to get rid of bad habits. It works like this. You decide a long-held habit is ‘bad’ and no longer acceptable – a habit such as smoking, putting things off, eating/snacking, retail therapy, or talking too much. Then the…

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