“Do not be content!”
“Do not be content!” Read More »
Carry it with you…or Leave it by the River The missing barcode I was third in the supermarket queue when the cashier came across an item which wouldn’t scan. It didn’t have a barcode. On her busy shift, the cashier could have called for a supervisor – and given herself an opportunity for a break
Carry it with you… or leave it by the river! Read More »
Positive thinking… or maybe lazy thinking? Have you noticed that much of what’s promoted as ‘positive thinking’ is really lazy thinking or even, let’s face it, daft thinking? It’s something that’s bothered me ever since I got caught up in my own fuzzy buzzy phase a few decades ago. Yes, I fell for that Group Think:
Positive thinking or Lazy Thinking? Read More »
Habits can be useful and efficient… traps I like a cup of instant coffee first thing in the morning. It’s been a habit – every morning, without fail – and for as long as I remember. And I always add a spoon of CoffeeMate, a coffee whitener, to my coffee. Always. Now, ‘first thing in
When our ‘good habits’ trap us! Read More »
How to stop procrastinating. How we delay the beginning! One of the most subtle ways of doing this is to pretend to yourself that you’re actually getting things done – when you’re really just putting off starting! A lot of us do it. We convince ourselves that we’re making progress with our plan when we’re
‘Beware of enterprises that require new clothes’ Read More »
Repetition makes a lie believable. The 3rd Monday in January is the most depressing day of the year… according to many British newspapers. This ‘scientific claim’ is the invention of a PR company and a part-time lecturer. It was created back in 2004 to get people to book their annual summer holidays earlier and is,
The Repeated Lie… is Believed Read More »
‘The NLP Technique’. I’m amazed at the number of individuals, websites and blogs which describe NLP or Neuro-Linguistic Programming as a set of techniques or, even worse and from a recent national newspaper headline, as ‘a technique’! Around 50 years ago, back in the early 70s, Richard Bandler, Frank Pucelik and John Grinder began NLP
Is NLP just ‘a technique’? Read More »
The so-called ‘official’ day for feeling bad. A week ago on Monday 18 January 2011 it was ‘Blue Monday’, reputedly the most depressing day of the year, or so we’re told. Mind you, it could have been last Monday (25th) – no-one seems quite sure. (By the way, this was written in 2011 – but
That “Blue Monday” myth… or lie Read More »
The Incessant Talker – who goes on and on… As a young adult I had some difficulty with ‘the people side of things’. Yes, I did like being with people but, except with a small group of friends, I found socialising uncomfortable. Looking back, I can see that this was due to a lack of
The Incessant Talker Read More »
“It was right here…!” It can be a terrifying moment. You return to where you’d parked your car. And it’s gone. ‘Where did I leave it? It was right here…! Now its gone…’ And you search and search. All over the car park. Faster and faster as panic builds. ‘It’s been stolen!’ Panic. So you
“I’ve lost the car!” Read More »
First I discovered darts. We were chatting about the next day’s archery session during this week’s NLP Practitioner training and, as can often happen in such conversations, I had a personal insight – I made a link between archery, darts and my life in general. But, first let’s back up a bit – a few decades, in
NLP, archery, and darts… Read More »
Improve relationships – through understanding them. It was during a coffee break on one of our courses. This was an advanced course so the group had quite a bit of NLP under their belts – and we were chatting about what we each considered the most useful bit of NLP for improving relationships. Yes, we
The most useful NLP ‘technique’? Read More »
Take a break from the bad news… It was brought home to me on a Sunday evening in Dublin Airport, while waiting for my return flight to the UK. I’d not been keeping up with the news because I had just spent a few days running an NLP workshop in Dublin. And my spare time had
Take a break from the bad news! Read More »
Those ‘good eye contact’ myths It would have been funny… .. if it weren’t so sad. He was trying really hard – the electrical goods salesman. He’d come through the one-size-fits-all school of communication skills in which he’d learned a few rules for how to create rapport with people. And he was sticking to those rules.
Those ‘good eye contact’ myths Read More »
You can ‘try’ or you can ‘do’. If you’re going to do it you’ll say “Yes, I’ll do it!” If you don’t want to commit yourself, or you want to give yourself wriggle room, you’ll say something like “Okay, I’ll try and do it…” Let’s try… Take this common situation… You have a chance meeting
The word ‘try’ – use it with caution Read More »
Carelessness can destroy relationships. The ‘people side of things’. Up until my early twenties, I did have trouble with the ‘people side of things’. Yes, I liked being with people but, except with a small group of close friends, I found general socialising uncomfortable. Nowadays, with the insight and perspective offered by NLP, I recognise
Closeness and carelessness in relationships Read More »
‘The markets have lost confidence’. How the NLP Meta Model interprets the News Media. Yesterday the UK financial market briefly lost confidence in HBOS, Britain’s biggest mortgage lender. And HBOS shares dropped by 17% at one stage. (This was written in March 2008 when the financial crisis was gathering momentum.) It’s been a tough time
The NLP Meta Model and the ‘Shaky Markets’ Read More »
Sulking: getting the Silent Treatment! Oh, he’s just having one of his sulks – best to ignore him. If she doesn’t get what she wants, she goes into a sulk – forever! There’s no point in trying to talk with them – they’re in a sulk! Living, or working closely, with a sulker isn’t much
Sulking: getting the silent treatment Read More »
Voice: one of the NLP ‘subtle skills’. One theme, which comes up again and again during our course is the importance of the ‘subtle skills’. These are the skills which make the NLP Techniques work well and pretty consistently – rather than in a hit and miss manner. There are many subtle skills and they
The NLP subtle skills: Voice Read More »
Just what is NLP? Many people have heard of NLP or Neuro-Linguistic Programming (or even Neurolinguistic Programming). And there are many versions of what it is – but finding a simple, straightforward and Plain English answer to the question Just what exactly is NLP? isn’t so easy. NLP is like an owner’s manual for your brain – one which provides you with
The ‘people helpers’ who talk too much! One phenomenon that’s always fascinated me is the tendency for “people helpers” to talk too much… People helpers? They seem to think that if they’re not talking, and telling people what to do, they are not earning their living! That’s a pity. People helping is not about handing
You’re not paid by the word! Read More »
Think about a few recent conversations… A social one, not a business or work conversation. Okay, now replay the conversation in your mind – and consider: who, not what, did you talk about? About them? About you? Or a fair mix of each. Who did you talk about? How much interest did they show in
A litmus test for friendship? Read More »
I am prepared to admit that my favourite, and only, soap opera is The Archers on BBC Radio 4. (The programme has been on air since January 1951 though I’ve only been a fan since the mid-seventies!) Nearly 30 years ago Jill Archer, the matriarch of the family, was advising one of her troubled offspring
“The Archers” – Jill’s wisdom! Read More »
When a voice sound is a turn off. It was a BBC Radio 4 programme, announced as a comedy show – and within 60 seconds I had to switch it off. Had to switch off? Yes, the quick-fire, raspy, edgy voice of the presenter grated on my nerves. It was physically uncomfortable. He has a
Get it out of your head – and on to paper! Sometimes life can be confusing. Or overwhelming. Like when you have too much happening – lots of changes to cope with – lots of decisions to make. Or you’ve got a vague, uneasy, or unpleasant feeling that you can’t get to the bottom of.
Use Free Writing to clear your thoughts Read More »
How those ‘not interested’ messages work. There are lots of subtle messages hidden in everyday conversations – even in seemingly light-hearted chit-chat! Some of these are verbal. Some, most even, are non verbal and these can be powerful. They can dismiss the value of your contribution. They can undermine your standing in the relationship –
Are you getting the ‘not interested’ treatment! Read More »
‘Try’ undermines your impact and influence. I was doing some research for an article on stress and depression yesterday. So, I web-searched on a few terms. And I couldn’t believe how sloppy is the language used by so many people who should know better; doctors, psychiatrists, therapists, counsellors and, apparently well-respected PhD’s, using phrases along
Do you encourage them – or not? Read More »
Before you climb it, ensure your ladder is against the right wall? For years I’ve quoted Stephen Covey’s great metaphor: “If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.” I actually paraphrased Covey: There’s little point in energetically and enthusiastically climbing that
Is your ladder leaning against the right wall? Read More »
We just looked at one another. I was walking along the local high street. And I was approaching and about to pass a woman walking with her daughter of about 6 or 7… Daughter: Mum, what age is Carol? Mum: She’s nearly 18, dear (…longish pause…) Daughter: Emmm, Mum? Mum: Yes, dear. Daughter: Will you
Children just say what they think Read More »
(This article was originally posted on 13 June 2019 just over 9 months before our first pandemic lockdown here in the UK. I’m reposting it here because, in the light of the past two years, the ideas about social distancing seem so dated. Almost quaint, in fact. Oh, and I’m also reposting it because the
How close to someone do you stand? Read More »